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Jacqueline Taylor

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Ototo-shi waited until Ikasu was gone and Okusama was sleeping; he couldn’t face them right now. Onna was still in the kitchen. She was washing things and putting them away. She never could go to bed at night until the house was put back into order. Ototo-shi smiled as he watched her.

“Onna,” he whispered, but the house was quiet and he was easily heard.

She turned and stared at him, unsure if she had heard him or had only imagined it. All evening she had been hoping he would speak to them. Was he now or had she merely willed it too hard?

He smiled, but said nothing else. He looked very tired. She went to him and knelt down before him.

“Ototo-shi?” she took his hands into hers. He squeezed them tightly. She gasped and then laughed.

She started to rise, but his grip grew tighter.

“Wait,” he whispered.

She stayed.

“Tell me of your Goddess,” he whispered.

Onna wasn’t sure what to say. Ototo-shi had always followed Ikasu’s teachings and had prayed to God. Why did he want to hear of the Goddess now?

“Chiyu could teach you of her better than me,” she said.

“No,” he whispered. “I want you to speak to me of her.”

“Alright,” she paused, unsure. “The Mother Goddess is the Center. She is the Life Tree and the Foundation of the world.”

“She is a Tree?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered.

“I think I saw your Goddess in the Realm of the Dead,” Ototo-shi paused.

He was getting stronger, but it was hard for him to explain what he had seen.

“She is beautiful.”

Tears came to his eyes and a sudden sadness overwhelmed him. Why had he not gone into the Tree?

Onna hugged him. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to ask him about what he had seen and what was happening, but knew that he was doing his best to tell her.

“The Tree was outside the Kingdom of Rest,” Ototo-shi said.

Onna wasn’t surprised by that. All that she knew of the Goddess hadn’t always gone well with the teachings of God. Ikasu made it sound like the Goddess didn’t even exist. She had always felt that one had to choose between them. She couldn’t help but wonder why that was.

“I have to go,” Ototo-shi said.

“Where?” Onna asked.

“I saw a man who asked me to give a message to his family,” he said.

“Surely, that can wait until the morning,” she said.

“Somehow, I feel that it can’t,” he said.

He rose from the seat and stretched his stiff body.

“Let me come with you,” she said.

“No, I must go alone,” he answered.

She stood and they hugged tightly.

He left quietly. It was dark and he found it easy to slip into the shadows and away from the house. He was pretty sure Okusama had no idea that he had left. He hoped that he could come back as easily. She would not have let him do this like Onna had…

He followed the roads in the dark, confident that he remembered where Kurushimi had lived. Sure enough the house loomed over the street with many lights still on. He knew that the family held many parties that went well into the night. Ototo-shi went to the door and knocked. It was answered by an older gentleman who looked at Ototo-shi with confusion.

“I’ve come to speak to Kurushimi’s brothers,” he said to the door man.

The door man looked Ototo-shi suspiciously. It was then that Ototo-shi remembered that he was dressed in burial garments. Something in his face must have said that he was more then he seemed, for the doorman opened the door and showed Ototo-shi to a small lobby. Ototo-shi sat as directed.

“I will get the eldest,” the man said and turned. “He will know what should be done with you,” he added as he left.

Ototo-shi waited a long time before the eldest brother came out. He stood when the older man came in.

“I am Doki. The doorman has told me that you requested to see the brothers of Kurushimi.”

“Yes, thank you for seeing me,” Ototo-shi said.

Doki said nothing. He looked Ototo-shi over and seemed very aware of his guest’s strange attire.

“I came at the request of you brother, Kurushimi,” Ototo-shi began.

“That’s not possible. He’s been dead for over a year now,” Doki said.

Ototo-shi paused, unsure. He hadn’t been prepared for the tone of anger in this man’s voice. What could he say that would make this man believe all that he had seen?

Ototo-shi sighed, deciding to simply tell this man the truth.

“Not that long ago, I was very sick from the plague and died myself.”

“Are you raving? How could you have died when you’re standing right here?” Doki asked.

He clenched his fists at his side.

“My name is Ototo-shi and if you check the records, I died several days ago,” Ototo-shi said.

“And what if I checked the records? They could be faked or you might not even be this Ototo-shi at all,” Doki said.

Ototo-shi sighed again. He realized that there was no way to prove to this man anything that had happened to him. The only people that would ever believe that he had been raised from the dead were the few who had seen it themselves and many of them would also find reasons like these not to believe what they had seen. Abraham had been right. But he owed Kurushimi at least to tell this man the truth.

“When I was dead, I saw your brother. He was suffering greatly for the life he was living and asked me to tell you that he begged all of you to change your ways,” Ototo-shi said quietly.

Doki tightened his fists and visibly shook with rage.

“What right do you have to come here and speak to me of my brother? Did you plan to come here and get our money? Do you think you’re the first to try and take advantage? How dare you?” Hot tears spilled from the man’s eyes. “Get out!”

Ototo-shi nodded. “I am sorry for the suffering I have brought you.”

He left, feeling that he had done nothing for Kurushimi or his brothers by coming here.

Ototo-shi slipped into an alley. His plans for the night no longer mattered. He had planned on speaking with all the brothers at length about what he had seen in the under world. He knew that none of the others would believe him any more then the eldest had. He couldn’t help but wonder what that meant. Why had Ikasu brought him back from the dead if no one would believe his testimony? What then was his purpose for being brought back at all? If it had simply not been his time to die, surely Ikasu could have healed him from the plague. That meant that his dying had been part of the plan from the beginning.

Ototo-shi leaned heavily against the stone wall and wept. He had never felt so confused, lost and angry in his life.

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